Jane Fonda has cancer and values community
I feel deeply inspired by particular words from Jane Fonda. The Grace and Frankie actress has started chemotherapy for her non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. And she is sharing lessons we all must learn.
Let’s first clarify an intention just in case it needs to be said. I am not trying to capitalise on the public discussion around the illness of a human being. I felt a passionate emotional reaction when I saw Jane Fonda’s announcement. Jane Fonda is teaching a crucial lesson from the powerful platform of her social media profile. Her lesson teaches a belief I have held throughout my entire life.
Jane Fonda wrote on Instagram, “Cancer is a teacher and I’m paying attention to the lessons it holds for me. One thing it’s shown me already is the importance of community. Of growing and deepening one’s community so that we are not alone.”
This message resonated with my own personal experience of seeing the gradual decline of my grandmother. Community sustained her. Community supported the family at the beginning and end of Elizabeth’s journey. I turned to community when possible after the end of my grandmother’s life.
Now a famous strong leader is experiencing a potentially universal reality. People need people. This is what Jane Fonda wants as she fights cancer and nurtures her health. She reminds us of how we all need our fellow humans. Community.
Lockdown and other restrictions reduced my ability to connect with people face-to-face. It happened. It is in the past. But I have seen the great contrast in recent months as I found my people. I found groups where I can learn. Within those circles, individuals offered a listening ear.
Life continues to give me plenty of challenges, heartbreak and fear. I do not publicly share all of the hurdles I overcome. It is for understandable reasons. However, I feel deeply grateful for the supportive people who supported me temporarily or through the long term. Most of those treasured friends founds me through community.
Our life-or-death raw human experiences should transcend the specific interests that bring us into our tribes. We find our people through common ground of social causes, politics, business, education, hobbies, whatever it may be. I have friends who found me via any of the above. We identify with our people through all that. But we connect as human beings through those relatable real experiences.
Beyond it all, community should be greater than our differences. Wonderful people, I have been involved in enough groups to see the conflict that inevitably grows in those circles thanks to our messed up human nature. You know what I’m talking about. Organisational politics, unofficial power struggles, game-playing… all of that. Don’t let those typical complications get in the way of what matters most. Let your shared human needs transcend the differences.
Trust me. There will be a time when you will disagree with people on how things should be done, what goals should be achieved in your community, all that. Be passionate about the surface issues. It is a wonderful energy. But there is something greater. I urge you. Connect on a deeper human level with each person in your tribe, whether you agree on everything else or not. I guarantee you will share the same core human needs.
Survival. Support. Smiles. We all need it. I am in the unusual position of feeling connected (to various amounts) with communities from diverse backgrounds. Some are happy clappy, others are yogis. Some live by the book. Others dance to the beats of their own drums. Whether you wear a suit or tie-dye, I love you. This diverse social life happened because I see people as people. We have to. We all need help eventually. We all need to nurture wellness and find meaning.
It takes a great bravery to share health struggles. Jane Fonda published her medical reality to 1.9 million Instagram followers. The news was naturally picked up my mainstream media, as expected. “And the cancer, along with my age --almost 85-- definitely teaches the importance of adapting to new realities.
The world is changing. However we approach this evolving planet, see the humanity in your community. And check on how your people are really feeling.
Peace
Melanie Suzanne Wilson
Cancer ribbons. Image: iStock/Getty (edited) because it’s pretty.
